The Linden Ashby Worshiping Page
For Sixteen Years, the First Resource for Everything Linden.
(And we've only lost our minds twice)
| Nelson: | Hi there! You're just in time! Come on into Nelson's World and make yourself at home! I'm Nelson Aspen and I'm here to host the coolest online party anywhere. My favorite show is "Melrose Place," and tonight we're actually going to watch along with its newest star, Linden Ashby. He's coming over in just a few more minutes, and you'll get to meet him too! But first, say hi to my neighbor....the ultimate girl next door, Zulema! |
| Zulema: | Hi everybody!!!!Hey Nelson!!! Is Linden here yet??? |
| Nelson: | You're in such a rush! Zulema, you kinda fancy Linden, don't you? |
| Zulema: | I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!! Not that I'm not happy to see you Nelson!!! |
| Nelson: | And all our online friends as well! |
| gayguy4u: | hello |
| Zulema: | Hi!!! gayguy4U |
| Nelson: | Hi! Pour yourself a drink and kick off your shoes, gayguy4u Because we're not only going to watch "Melrose Place," we're going to get to know Linden Ashby intimately. He plays Coop and he's quite the man of mystery in this new season. |
| Zulema: | How intimately Nelson???? |
| Nelson: | That's going to depend on what kind of questions we get from the audience. Keep in mind that when you send your questions and comments in to Nelson's World, they first go through a screener. He's immaculately overdressed for the occasion so he'll be especially discriminating. Try and keep your pearls of wisdom clean and to the point. And he'll pass on as many as possible to the worldwide audience throughout our simulchat with "Melrose Place." |
| Zulema: | Nelson, you look great tonight!!! |
| Nelson: | Melrose Mondays. I love 'em! And nothing gives my skin a healthy glow like a good simulchat. What is simulchat, you ask? |
| Zulema: | What are simulchats!!!???? |
| Nelson: | I'm glad you asked! Simulchat is the word we use to describe the fun experience of simultaneously watching TV while chatting online! We're also going to have an interactive poll and our coveted "Melrose Place" drinking game! Tonight's beverage is Coop Soup, which I have spiked with a mystery beverage. |
| Zulema: | Sounds yummy Nelson!!! |
| Nelson: | You have to take a shot whenever any of the following happens: 1. Peter puckers up 2. Coop argues with Lexi 3. Taylor tries to seduce someone 4. Billy goes shirtless |
| Zulema: | We'll be pretty drunk by the end of the show!!! |
| Nelson: | (peering out the window) Zulema, who is that guy coming up the path carrying the beer and wearing a baseball cap? |
| Zulema: | I'm not sure but he's awful cute!!! |
| Nelson: | Oh my God! I didn't recognize him without his "Melrose Place" suit on. It's him! It's Linden Ashby! |
| Linden: | That's all I do is wear a suit. |
| Zulema: | Hi Linden!!!!! |
| Linden: | HI!!!!!! |
| Nelson: | Welcome to Nelson's World! Take off your shoes. |
| Linden: | [he takes 'em off] They're off! |
| Nelson: | And a lovely pedicure too! |
| Linden: | Yes. |
| Nelson: | Is this your first online experience, Linden? |
| Linden: | It is not. When I did "Mortal Kombat" we did quite a bit of online stuff. |
| Nelson: | Well this will be much more fun. |
| Linden: | Oh, I imagine. |
| Nelson: | And we're going to get to watch "Melrose Place" right along with you and hear ALL the dirt. You will share with us, won't you? |
| Linden: | the intimate details... |
| Nelson: | How did you come to get cast? |
| Linden: | Actually, I was in Costa Rica, surfing, on a surf trip with a friend of mine, and I called home to check in, and make sure everything was okay. And my wife Susan said, oh, you got an offer to do "Melrose Place." |
| Nelson: | So there was not even an audition? |
| Linden: | No. It was an offer to do a 10 episode guest spot, and she said, what are you going to do? And I said, I'll deal with it when I get home. |
| Nelson: | You calm Hollywood surfer-types... |
| Linden: | No, it was just a bad connection. LOL |
| Nelson: | LOL. Well you must have some pretty good connections to land a job like that without an audition. |
| Linden: | It was the most brilliant piece of negotiating that I've ever done. Because by being out of touch, my agent would speak to the people at "Melrose Place" and they'd ask, will he do it, and my agent said, I don't know, he's in Costa Rica. So when I finally got back, and I agreed to do it, they said great. Will you do a series regular part? And I said, duh, YEAH! |
| Nelson: | That's it! Zulema, get my surfboard! You and I are going to Costa Rica! |
| Zulema: | Yeah!!!!! |
| Linden: | I'm telling you, if you want to get a job, you don't even need to go on the trip, just make non-refundable tickets. |
| Nelson: | That's always Murphy's Law. |
| Zulema: | Very smart!!! |
| Nelson: | Let's hear from some of Linden's fans who are curled up right here in front of their TV's in Nelson's World. |
| Zulema: | Like us!!! |
| chad: | so Linden, what do think of Alyssa Milano? |
| Linden: | What's to say? |
| Nelson: | Careful, you're married. |
| Linden: | Chad, what do you think of Alyssa Milano? |
| margot: | are you going to do any Mortal Kombat moves on MP this season? |
| Linden: | Well, I punch a few people. LOL |
| Nelson: | If you punch Lexi tonight, we get to have a drink under the rules of our drinking game. |
| Linden: | I think we should get to have a drink just for thinking about it. |
| Nelson: | Well you're almost out of beer, so we'll have to switch to champagne. |
| Linden: | Absolutely. |
| Zulema: | I'll pour!!!!! |
| Nelson: | Meanwhile, I'll tell folks what they missed, if they were foolish enough not to have seen "Melrose Place" last week. |
| Linden: | And that would be very foolish. |
| Nelson: | Kyle's jealous over Amanda's attachment to Eric. Sam told Craig about Amanda's plot because she feels guilty about Sydney's death. |
| Linden: | LOL. |
| Zulema: | Megan forces Michael into couple's therapy. |
| Nelson: | And Michael and Peter both want Coop as an ally. Who would you rather work with, Linden? Michael or Peter? |
| Linden: | Megan. |
| Nelson: | LOL. She is very beautiful and has become my new favorite ever since Jane left the show. |
| Linden: | Isn't she something? |
| Nelson: | I like her because she's not all skin and bones. The woman has meat on her. |
| Linden: | LOL |
| Nelson: | LOL. Is she as flirtatious and vexing in reality as she is on screen? |
| Linden: | She's...yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. |
| Nelson: | Is it likely that Coop and Megan could end up together? |
| Linden: | Yes. |
| Nelson: | Ahhhh. |
| Zulema: | Some scoop!!! |
| Nelson: | I saw you both on VH1, but you were standing pretty far apart. |
| Linden: | Yeah, I had Brooke next to me. |
| Nelson: | She's got some hips too, I noticed. Which I don't usually see on the air shows. |
| Linden: | You've got to be careful, because with some girls, when you say she's got some hips, she might not take it the right way. |
| Zulema: | Yeah Nelson!!!! |
| Nelson: | Brooke Langton, if you're online, I love your hips! I'm sure that even with them, you're not over 100 pounds. |
| Linden: | LOL |
| Nelson: | Were you a fan of "Melrose Place" before you landed the job? |
| Linden: | Well, like everyone else in the world, I think I watched a lot more than I admitted to. |
| Nelson: | And we know that you have some strange connection to Kimberly's character. Any chance that Marcia Cross might make an appearance this season? |
| Linden: | I don't know. I don't know. |
| Nelson: | I know you're not going to be evasive, because when I sent out your engraved invitation, I requested that you tell us ALL the inside scoop that you could possibly reveal. So let's take a question from the audience before the simulchat. |
| Linden: | You know, I knew Marcia Cross way back when in New York. |
| Nelson: | Back when she was on "One Life to Live?" |
| Linden: | Before that, I think. And I always thought she was beautiful. |
| mary: | What's the best part about being on Melrose? |
| Linden: | Mary, Megan. |
| Zulema: | Tell the truth Linden!!! |
| Nelson: | Aside from Kelly Rutherford's obviously physical charms, what are the perks of being on this hit Spelling show? |
| Linden: | All right. To wax philosophical for a moment, it's not often that we have the opportunity to actually be a part of pop culture as it occurs. And, it's a unique opportunity. |
| Nelson: | Is your wife excited for you? |
| Linden: | Yeah. She's actually going to do a recurring part this year, I think. |
| Nelson: | Excellent. I loved her as Priscilla Presley and remember her from "Loving," the lovely Susan Walters. |
| Linden: | Yeah. |
| Nelson: | And now it's time to simulchat with "Melrose Place." If you're not in the Pacific time zone, don't worry. We'll fill you in on everything that is going on. And if you're on the East Coast, don't give anything away! |
| Gary: | Nelson, I'm here looking forward to this week's show. |
| Nelson: | Welcome Gary! Pull up a chair and watch along with Linden Ashby, also known as Coop. |
| Linden: | There I am! |
| Nelson: | What were you swallowing? |
| Linden: | Aspirin. |
| Nelson: | You and Peter out drinking? |
| Linden: | Yup. |
| Nelson: | I think I'll love your character! Is the beer cold enough for you, Linden? |
| Linden: | Yup. |
| Nelson: | How do you treat a hangover in reality, Linden? |
| Linden: | Same way you do. |
| Nelson: | A t-bone steak and a bloody mary? |
| Linden: | And Zulema. |
| Zulema: | LOL |
| Nelson: | She's better than ibuprofen. |
| Linden: | A lot better. |
| Nelson: | Heather Locklear looks fabulous from the boobs up. Which is all they're showing since she's pregnant. How does she look as an expectant mother, Linden? |
| Linden: | Like a million bucks. |
| Nelson: | And here comes Kyle. There are so many good-looking leading guys around. Does it become somewhat competitive? |
| Linden: | I .... no. |
| Nelson: | No chest-beating on the set? |
| Linden: | Not that I've noticed. |
| Nelson: | Unless it's Kelly Rutherford, and then it'd be ok. |
| Linden: | It's just about ... yeah. It's just about the prettiest group of people that you'll ever see in your life. |
| lolita3: | So is drinking ALL you and Peter did? |
| Linden: | Why, because we're in Matt's apartment? |
| Nelson: | LOL. His energy lives on. |
| Melfan: | why is it that every woman michael screws over becomes his secretary? |
| Linden: | [shrugs] Uh, I don't know. Why? |
| Nelson: | Maybe some men leave their women with the feeling that they should continue to serve them outside of the bedroom. |
| Zulema: | Not you Nelson |
| Linden: | LOL |
| Nelson: | Of course not. I only have you serve me in the kitchen, my darling. What do you suppose is the appeal of these bad-boy characters that are so popular on shows like "Melrose Place?" |
| Linden: | Because, you get to do things that you don't get to do in life. You get to do things that you wish you could do in life. With people you wish you could do them with. |
| Nelson: | Is Megan tall or is Michael just short? |
| Linden: | Oh, Michael's short. I wish Thomas would grow. |
| Nelson: | Time for the theme song. Everybody dances! |
| Zulema: | The party's on!!!! |
| Nelson: | I'm so proud that Linden's last name starts with an 'A', so he gets top billing. |
| Linden: | Handy, eh? |
| Nelson: | (While the theme music plays, Zulema whips Linden's cap from his head, pulls him from the sofa, and they begin to dance frenetically) |
| Linden: | Oooh la la. |
| Zulema: | Yeah!!! |
| Nelson: | That Linden has sure got the moves. Send your questions and comments in for him, and by the time he stops dancing, he'll be happy to answer them for you. |
| Zulema: | Go Linden!!!! |
| trialo: | is there an old school vs new school attitude on the set? |
| Nelson: | Good question, trialo. |
| Linden: | Yeah, I think so. It's...we definitely...there's a respect paid to the people who've been there since the beginning. |
| Nelson: | That would be only Thomas Calabro and... |
| Linden: | Andrew Shue And Heather, since the first season. |
| mary: | Would you consider yourself a sex symbol? |
| Linden: | Absolutely. LOL |
| Nelson: | And does your family at home treat you that way? |
| Linden: | Absolutely. LOL |
| Nelson: | You're blushing, Linden. |
| Linden: | Absolutely. |
| Nelson: | Oh, the highlights of this show are never going to make it into Entertainment Weekly. We want the dirt! |
| Linden: | How dirty do you want it? |
| Nelson: | That's a personal question. Let's take one from the audience. |
| Gary: | Heather just oozes that friendliness on the set. |
| Linden: | How do you know? |
| Nelson: | Or does she just ooze? |
| Linden: | LOL |
| RinnaLuv: | who will Coop end up in the sack with? |
| Zulema: | Nelson!!! |
| Linden: | Probably Megan. |
| Nelson: | Linden, I read that you're a golfer. Are they going to work that into your story line the way they did for Jack Wagner? |
| Linden: | No, I'm not as good a golfer as Jack. |
| Nelson: | I've heard he's quite 'the star.' How is he to work with? |
| Linden: | LOL. He's great. |
| Nelson: | Do you have your own trailer or do you have to share the dressing room with anyone? |
| Linden: | I have my own trailer. To be honest, I think that from the very top to the bottom on that show, no real prima donna attitudes are put up with. |
| Nelson: | Is that Spelling's influence? |
| Linden: | Yes. I believe so. |
| kilo: | Does Jack Wagner ever sing for you guys on set? |
| Linden: | Absolutely, that same damn song over and over again. All I need..... [sings] |
| Nelson: | [sings] Allllllllll Iiiiiiiiii neeeeeeeeeeeeed isjustalittlemoretime... |
| Linden: | He actually does. |
| Nelson: | Well there is no more time, because we're returning to our simulchat with "Melrose Place." |
| Linden: | Directed by Anson Williams. |
| Nelson: | Potsie! |
| Zulema: | Potsie!!!! |
| Nelson: | There's Heather hiding behind the door. And she's got that special Joan Crawford-lighting. Did she ever have morning sickness in your presence, Linden? Ever throw up or anything like that? |
| Linden: | Oh, continuously. |
| Zulema: | I bet she looked good doing it!!! |
| Nelson: | Like you at the end of the night, Zu. Sam has sure had a makeover since she first came on the show. |
| Linden: | She looks good. |
| Nelson: | Not as good as you look in that yellow tie! |
| Linden: | Nice tie!!! |
| Nelson: | Ahhhh! There she is! Jamie Luner! |
| Linden: | The ex-wife! |
| Nelson: | There's been an awful lot of anticipation about her arrival. |
| Zulema: | She means business!! |
| Gary: | Lexi, Yummy! |
| Melfan: | Jamie! |
| Linden: | This is painful for me to have to watch myself. |
| Zulema: | Not for me!!! |
| Nelson: | I should tell the audience that you actually have freckles, Linden. |
| Linden: | I do. |
| Nelson: | And they cover them up on "Melrose Place." |
| Linden: | They do. |
| Nelson: | You should look more outdoorsy. |
| Linden: | Woodsy. |
| milhous: | What's Potzie like as a director? I just can't picture it! |
| Linden: | Well, let me tell you something. When Anson tells you to pull it back, you're overacting. The first thing that goes through your mind is, Jesus Christ, Potsie is telling me I'm over the top. |
| Zulema: | LOL |
| Nelson: | The first thing that would go through MY mind would be "Sit on it, Potz." |
| Gary: | Does the cast ever say, "No one would really say that"? |
| Linden: | No. LOL. Because, the truth of the matter is, we say the stupidest things in life that you can imagine. |
| Nelson: | I just saw a shot of Heather Locklear's body double. |
| Linden: | That's Heather. |
| Nelson: | No, there was a long shot of her walking down the hallway from the back. |
| Linden: | That's Heather. |
| Nelson: | She's carrying that baby DIRECTLY in front of her then. |
| Linden: | She is. |
| Zulema: | Isn't she due any minute now??? |
| Linden: | What time is it? Ooooh. Alyssa. |
| Nelson: | And speaking of right out in front of her, here comes Jennifer. Is she of legal age yet, Linden? |
| Linden: | Does it matter? |
| Nelson: | I suppose in a fantasy world, no. |
| Linden: | She's old. Enough. |
| Gary: | I hope not. |
| Linden: | Go, Gary! |
| Nelson: | It's refreshing to see David Charvet with dry eyes. He's been sobbing like a baby for 4 weeks. |
| Linden: | LOL |
| Nelson: | I know he's got a limited run on "Melrose Place." And I'll bet he's cranky about it. The story I read was that he's claiming to be content to continue his fabulous career as a music star in Europe. |
| Zulema: | Oh??? |
| Nelson: | Those "Baywatch" people are HUGE in Europe! |
| Linden: | Jesus Christ, Nelson. |
| Zulema: | What story did you hear Linden??? |
| Linden: | I didn't hear any stories. That's right. |
| Nelson: | He goes to his trailer, shuts the door, and blocks out the gossip. |
| Linden: | I go to work, do my work, get in my car, and go home. |
| Zulema: | Get him more champagne Nelson!! |
| Nelson: | Yeah because the rules of this drinking game are not panning out. Here comes Billy. If he goes shirtless, we'll finally get a shot. |
| Linden: | Oh, listen, this episode there's going to be a lot of nakedness, if I remember correctly. |
| Nelson: | Linden, would you classify the conversation you had with Jamie Luner, as an argument? |
| Linden: | Yeah. LOL |
| Nelson: | Good enough for me! Everybody drink! |
| Zulema: | Cheers!!! |
| Nelson: | And just in time. Sam is confessing to Billy that she was the spy. |
| Linden: | I think this is an argument. |
| Nelson: | Billy is a whiner. |
| ingo: | Linden: give us at least ONE piece of dirt from the set!!!!! |
| Linden: | What do you want? Be specific. Ingo, spit it out! |
| Gary: | So Linden, did the cast celebrate Heather's recent Birthday on the 25th? |
| Linden: | No, because she wasn't working. Or maybe I wasn't working, so I don't remember. Okay, go Ingo! |
| ingo: | who's got the biggest attitude? |
| Linden: | Geez, that's a tough one. |
| Nelson: | Too many vying for the title? |
| Linden: | I would say....I'd say the men are much worse than the women. |
| Zulema: | Really?? |
| Nelson: | And who is the worst, Rob Estes? |
| Linden: | No. |
| Nelson: | That's cause he's got that beautiful Josie Bissett waiting for him at home. |
| Linden: | Yeah, that'll put a smile on your face. |
| Nelson: | Some people might say that about the lovely Susan Walters. |
| Linden: | That'll put one there, too. |
| Zulema: | How sweet you are!! |
| Melfan: | Is Andrew Shue real, or a mannequin? |
| Linden: | He's a mannequin. |
| Nelson: | With an adenoid problem. His mouth is always hanging open. Get him an inhaler! |
| Linden: | LOL |
| Zulema: | LOL |
| Nelson: | Let's have an interactive poll for the audience while the commercial is on. |
| Linden: | You know, I got to go to work tomorrow and see these people. |
| Nelson: | Then you better... |
| Linden: | Drink up. |
| Nelson: | Exactly! Your hangover tomorrow will be real! And you folks online will have 5 minutes to vote in our interactive poll. After you've entered your response, click on the show view button to return to the graphics screen. We ask: What do you think Coop's relation is to Kimberly? Your choices are: A) Ex-husband, B) Long lost brother, C) Her Shrink, D) Kimberly with sex change |
| AustinP: | do you miss Spy Game? |
| Linden: | Yes. A lot. |
| Nelson: | That was a summer series for ABC, right? |
| Linden: | Well, it didn't start out to be a summer series. It's just after you get cancelled, it becomes a summer series. |
| Nelson: | Well, we'll look back on it that way because we wouldn't want you anywhere other than "Melrose Place." Let's return to our simulchat as Michael and Peter are poolside at a medical conference. And there's Lexi and a very short woman. |
| Linden: | Way to go, partner! |
| Nelson: | I see sparks between Lexi and Peter! |
| Zulema: | Well!!! |
| Nelson: | Here's Coop and Megan at the only restaurant in Los Angeles, Kyle's. Do you think Santa Barbara is really romantic, Linden? |
| Linden: | I'm a sucker. I can be romantic anywhere. |
| Zulema: | Awww!! |
| Nelson: | When you and Susan were married, did you have an exotic locale for your honeymoon? |
| Linden: | Yeah, scenic New York City. |
| Nelson: | Back when you were on "Loving?" |
| Linden: | Back when I lived in New York City. |
| ingo: | does kelly r smell good? i heard she wears a lot of perfume |
| Linden: | She smells terrific. I don't even say hi in the morning, I just smell her. |
| Nelson: | Linden, you don't smell bad yourself. To put it in your own word, "Woodsy." |
| Linden: | I burned the house down before I came here. LOL |
| Nelson: | For God's sake, I hope you got Susan and the kids out! |
| Linden: | Oh, yeah. |
| Nelson: | Every week, it's a different jazz singer. |
| Linden: | I play the jazz singer. |
| Nelson: | Remember the two Milli Vanilli chicks? |
| Zulema: | Lesbians???? |
| Linden: | That was me and Thomas in disguise. |
| Melfan: | the place is packed...[crowd at the jazz club] |
| margot: | is that harry connick jr.? |
| Linden: | Yes, that is Harry Conick, Jr. |
| Nelson: | Do they use a lot of extras on "Melrose Place?" |
| Linden: | Oodles. |
| Nelson: | And do you stars treat them kindly? |
| Linden: | LOL |
| Nelson: | Be honest! |
| Linden: | Yes, I do. |
| Nelson: | Those poor suckers having to schlep all the way to the Santa Clarita studios... |
| Linden: | Hey, hey, listen. I was an extra on your soap opera. |
| Nelson: | "Search for Tomorrow?" |
| Linden: | Yes |
| Zulema: | Really?? |
| Nelson: | Was I there at the time? Was I nice? |
| Linden: | You were there, and you were not nice. |
| Zulema: | I believe that!!! Got you!!! |
| Nelson: | I am blushing because I was always nice. |
| Linden: | LOL |
| Nelson: | (Linden whispers to Nelson that he was teasing) That must've been my evil twin, who had a much more successful career in daytime. |
| Linden: | Yes. Son-nel. |
| Nelson: | Sam looks like a million bucks in this scene. |
| Zulema: | She's beautiful!! |
| Linden: | She's the bomb. |
| Nelson: | Billy only likes women who crap all over him. |
| Linden: | You know, I've read about some other celebrities who have similar fetishes. |
| Zulema: | you're bad Linden!! |
| Linden: | LOL |
| Nelson: | You must watch a lot of sports then. |
| Linden: | LOL |
| mitzi: | What's it like to work with Heather Locklear? |
| Linden: | She's a treat. She's in the best sense of the word, a lady. |
| Nelson: | And here's the opposite end of the spectrum. The evil Lexi. |
| Linden: | That's no lady, that's my wife! |
| Nelson: | Is she hot off camera? |
| Linden: | Is she hot!!!!! Oooh la la. |
| Nelson: | She fills the redhead void left by Kimberly and Sydney. |
| Linden: | You can't have too many redheads. Do you realize that redheads have something like a third more hair per square inch? |
| Nelson: | Everywhere? |
| Linden: | Yeah. |
| Zulema: | Guys!!! |
| Nelson: | Zulema... |
| Zulema: | Yes!! |
| Nelson: | Can we have some more beer? I don't like this champagne. Hanging out with Linden Ashby brings out... |
| Linden: | Brings out the beer drinker in you. |
| Nelson: | That, too. |
| Zulema: | You too can smell woodsy, Nelson. |
| Linden: | Any second now, I get the feeling that clothes are going to be coming off. |
| Zulema: | I hope so!!! |
| Linden: | Not on the show. |
| Nelson: | (LOL about Lisa Rinna's shower scene) How long would it take to wash those lips? |
| Linden: | You're going to hell, Nelson. |
| Nelson: | This is part of our drinking game! |
| Linden: | He can't fight back, his hands hurt! [referring to Michael] |
| Nelson: | Taylor seduces someone....we drink! |
| Linden: | Look, there we go! I think this was her first day of work. |
| Nelson: | Another drink! Anytime Peter puckers up! |
| Linden: | Welcome to Melrose! Double shot? |
| Nelson: | Jamie Luner is obviously experienced at this sort of behavior. The bombshell. Lexi is Coop's ex-wife. Of course, any diehard Melrose fan already knew that. |
| Linden: | LOL [to screen] |
| Nelson: | Do you think Jack and Jamie have any chemistry, Linden? |
| Linden: | Absolutely. What do you think, Nelson? |
| Nelson: | I think I should've made the drinking game, drink whenever Linden says "Absolutely." |
| Linden: | Absolutely. |
| Zulema: | Absolutely!!1 |
| Linden: | We can change the rules. The night is young. |
| Nelson: | This dialogue! It's unbelievable! I mean on the show, of course! These two are like cats in heat! |
| Linden: | Is there anyone out there talking to us? |
| chiro: | i'm getting sick of michael's bandages. when will they be off Linden? |
| Linden: | Next week. I'm sick of 'em too. |
| Gary: | Can two people talk this long in a hotel room? |
| Linden: | What a waste of time. |
| Nelson: | Has any actual sex happened since you arrived on "Melrose Place?" I mean, off-camera? |
| Linden: | Well, I got a little last night. |
| Nelson: | On the set?! |
| Linden: | It was Sunday. |
| Nelson: | Don't they give you keys? |
| Linden: | LOL |
| Nelson: | While the commercial is on, let's check our poll results. |
| Linden: | I'm betting on Kimberly with a sex change. |
| Zulema: | ME too!! |
| Nelson: | You should go to the track then because in answer to: "What do you think Coop's relation is to Kimberly?" |
| Linden: | I actually thought it was her brother with a sex change. |
| Nelson: | As opposed to 29% saying ex-husband, 29% say long lost brother, and 43% say Kimberly with a sex change. |
| Linden: | Didn't they watch last week when I said she wasn't my wife? |
| Nelson: | Maybe they were busy talking to us! As if we should believe everything Coop says. |
| Linden: | LOL. |
| reilly: | What do you do in your spare time... martial arts ie. Mortal Kombat? |
| Linden: | I've been studying a new style.Called Wing Chung. |
| Nelson: | Wasn't that a song? |
| Zulema: | Wang Chung Nelson |
| Nelson: | Is that a violent form of martial arts? |
| Linden: | They're all a bit violent. LOL |
| Nelson: | So it's not like yoga. |
| Linden: | That's kind of the point. |
| Nelson: | But my research tells me.... |
| Linden: | Yes. I'm a man of peace. |
| Nelson: | And... |
| Linden: | Yes. |
| Nelson: | of ballet! |
| Linden: | Yes. |
| Nelson: | I hear you've been known to pull on the tights and do a few grand jetes! |
| Linden: | I don't even need the tights. |
| Nelson: | I won't even touch that one. |
| Linden: | I always think naked is better. LOL. For a grand tor jetes. |
| tyro: | have you seen your web fan page? |
| Linden: | No, but I've heard about it, and I want to see it. And I want to meet Elmer. |
| Nelson: | She's a rabid fan for sure. Quoting from her webpage, in regards to how you and your wife Susan met.... |
| Nelson: | "Susan told a makeup artist, 'That's the guy I'm going to marry.'" Did Susan know right away? |
| Linden: | She says she did. |
| Nelson: | Beautiful AND psychic. Let's return to our simulchat with FOX's "Melrose Place" with insightful commentary from one of its stars, Linden "Coop" Ashby. |
| Linden: | Don't worry, Peter. You'll meet her again. |
| Nelson: | Is Michael going to have more sex now? |
| Linden: | Yup. Oh, what a surprise! |
| Zulema: | Wow!! |
| Nelson: | But not with Taylor! It's Megan! In the shower! |
| kane: | Do you ever re-write what has been written for you? |
| Linden: | No. They really want you to stick to the words. |
| Nelson: | This is like a French farce! |
| Zulema: | He's got problems |
| Linden: | LOL.You know, I worry about my ovulatory cycle. |
| Nelson: | Here's David Charvet playing a businessman on a cell phone. |
| Linden: | But why is on a cel phone in the office? |
| Nelson: | Here comes Heather. She'll spice up the scene. |
| PSAdams: | Since I just joined in, you may have already answered this question. What has been the most fun episode that you have done on Melrose Place? Thanks |
| Linden: | I think #9 of this year is my favorite one. A lot of past story gets wrapped up. |
| cardiof: | who's the best actor on the show? |
| Linden: | Me. |
| Nelson: | This show has been conspicuously ignored by the Emmy committee. |
| Linden: | I was surprised that I wasn't nominated, just in anticipation of the great work I'm going to do this year. |
| Zulema: | You should be!! |
| Nelson: | We'll give you an award at the end of the night. Suitable for framing. |
| Linden: | LOL. Zulema. |
| Nelson: | Are you saying you want to mount her on the wall? |
| Zulema: | I should be so lucky!! |
| Linden: | The wall, the floor..... |
| Nelson: | For your sake, Linden, I hope your wife is not online. |
| Linden: | Thank god we don't have a computer. |
| Zulema: | For my sake too!! |
| Nelson: | What have YOU been doing with Susan, Zulema? :-) |
| Linden: | Oh, boy. Give it a minute and it'll just spiral to the lowest common denominator. Taylor wants his sperm! |
| Nelson: | This is the first time I really enjoyed Lisa Rinna's character. |
| Linden: | It's a lot of fun. |
| Melfan: | How was working with Daphne Zuniga? |
| Linden: | Absolutely lovely. |
| Nelson: | I don't miss her from "Melrose Place" one bit. |
| Linden: | Well, you're a prick! LOL |
| Nelson: | No, I just had enough of Jo. |
| Linden: | Say it ain't so, Joe. |
| chiapet: | is this crew a lot different from the Spy Game crew? |
| Linden: | This crew in the room? Or the crew on Melrose Place? Yes, they are. But they're both great. This is Nelson's Place and I'm calling him a bad word! |
| Zulema: | I can't believe you called Nelson a bad word Linden. |
| Nelson: | It's that thin line, Linden. |
| Linden: | And I just crossed it. |
| Nelson: | But you're the guest, and the internet is a place... |
| Linden: | Of filth. LOL |
| Nelson: | LOL |
| Linden: | I apologize, Nelson. |
| Nelson: | But lets turn our attention back to the filth on "Melrose Place." |
| Linden: | There's no filth on Melrose Place. This is wholesome family entertainment. |
| Nelson: | Crumbs in the bed is as filthy a thing as I can fathom. I would never let Megan eat on my clean sheets. But then again I don't think those sheets are as necessarily clean as mine. |
| Linden: | I'm not even going to touch that. |
| PSAdams: | I always hear about the practical jokes that actors do behind the scenes of TV and or movies. Have you done any? And if so which one was to best and on who was it done to? |
| Linden: | Well, I set Jack Wagner on fire last week, for singing. And then, I shot Jamie Luner with a bow and arrow. I blew up Heather's car. And, hit Thomas in the back of the head with a billy club. I'm such a kidder! |
| Nelson: | The only thing I ever do is short-sheet Zulema's bed. |
| Zulema: | LOL |
| Nelson: | But Linden, there are some things about you which the audience HASN'T asked which we are........... |
| Nelson: | ...........DYING TO KNOW!!!!! |
| Nelson: | These are 10 short questions, Linden, that require 10 short HONEST answers. |
| Linden: | Yes. Go ahead. |
| Nelson: | Zulema, strap on the polygraph. |
| Zulema: | No bad words though!!! |
| Linden: | None. |
| Nelson: | That was the worst word ever uttered in Nelson's World! |
| Linden: | Yes, well, obscenity is the mark of a limited vocabulary. |
| Nelson: | 1) Did you videotape the birth of your children? |
| Linden: | No. |
| Nelson: | 2) Do you still have your tonsils? |
| Linden: | Yes. |
| Nelson: | 3) What's the most embarrassing CD you own? |
| Linden: | Jack Wagner. "All I need is a little more time." |
| Nelson: | Did he give it you as a welcoming gift? |
| Linden: | No, that was my making love music. Now it's just not the same. |
| Nelson: | 4) Which ships sinking incited the US involvement in WWI? |
| Linden: | Oh......The Lusitania? |
| Nelson: | Well done!!!!!! I had a sinking feeling there for a moment. |
| Nelson: | 5) How do you take your coffee? |
| Linden: | Cream and sugar. |
| Nelson: | 6) What do you pay for a haircut? |
| Linden: | Nothing. |
| Nelson: | 7) What's your favorite beach for surfing? |
| Linden: | Beach called "Zeroes." Just south of county line. |
| Nelson: | 8) What's your favorite movie so far this year? |
| Linden: | You know, I've got two. "Breakdown" and I liked "The Full Monty" a lot. |
| Nelson: | Keep drinking. 9) Name something you collect or save. |
| Linden: | Empty beer bottles. |
| Nelson: | 10) Do you try on clothes before you buy them? |
| Linden: | No. |
| Nelson: | A reckless but fascinating round of Dying to Know! Let's return to our simulchat before we miss another second of Lisa Rinna's lips! |
| Linden: | You know, everyone gives her a hard time about these lips, and I happen to think her lips are great. |
| Nelson: | Obviously, so does Harry Hamlin. |
| Linden: | Handsome Harry. |
| Nelson: | The man on the receiving end of those suckers. |
| logan23: | do you ever roll yr eyes at some of the things on the show? |
| Linden: | Absolutely. I had to go to the opthamologist last week and have them roll back from the back of my head. |
| Nelson: | You must've been on the sidelines watching this scene between Billy and Sam. I can only see the whites of Zulema's eyes. How many times has Billy proposed? A zillion? And how many times has he ever been married? Once. |
| Linden: | He's got no follow through. |
| Zulema: | She'll leave him at the altar |
| PSAdams: | How did you do set Jack Wagner on Fire? |
| Linden: | I was kidding. But if you really want to know, it was a soap and gasoline mixture that I mixed up in the kitchen. |
| Nelson: | Do you keep manure in your pickup truck? |
| Linden: | Yessir. |
| Nelson: | LOL |
| Linden: | I think that's a different kind of fertilizer. |
| Nelson: | And that's about to hit the fan, now that Taylor's announcing her pregnancy to Amanda. |
| Gary: | Amanda needs to slap someone! |
| Nelson: | Oooooh. Taylor slammed Amanda! |
| Linden: | Ooooh. Uh-oh. We need a drink! |
| Nelson: | There you are fighting with Lexi! We get a drink according to the rules of our drinking game! |
| Zulema: | Grab your glass |
| Nelson: | Lexi looks perplexed. She's perplexi. You and Jamie Luner look almost.... |
| Linden: | Related? We are. Her father and my father are the same person. |
| Nelson: | Is this an upcoming Melrose story line, which is why your marriage didn't work out? |
| Linden: | No, this is true. |
| Nelson: | He's kidding again, folks. I'm having a hard time telling reality from fantasy myself. |
| Linden: | Well, all of these shots. |
| rogo: | what are you guys drinking? |
| Linden: | Anything with alcohol in it. We're not picky. |
| Nelson: | Rogo, one of my favorite Poseidon Adventure characters. |
| Linden: | Ernest Borgnine, I might add. |
| Nelson: | If you liked "The Poseidon Adventure," Linden, you're automatically a friend for life around here. |
| Linden: | Right on. |
| Melfan: | CAROLE LINDLEY!!!!!! |
| Nelson: | That's right melfan, except it's Carol Lynley. Eric showing up is probably trouble for Amanda. |
| Linden: | Do you think? |
| Nelson: | You're talking to Kimberly's mother! There sure are a lot of pictures of Kimberly there. Kimberly's knockers were not nearly as big as her mother's. |
| Linden: | LOL |
| Nelson: | What's going on between you and Kimberly's mother? |
| Linden: | Oh, it's sex, and whatnot. |
| Nelson: | I couldn't blame you. She's a hottie! Ooooh, Coop is a very bad man! |
| Zulema: | Ooh Coop!! |
| Nelson: | Linden, that's the darkest side of Coop we've seen to date! |
| Linden: | I'm a dark guy. I'm a loner. I'm a rebel. |
| Nelson: | And you sure can drink! Let's have another! |
| Linden: | I'm drunk. |
| Zulema: | I'm through!! |
| Nelson: | Perfect condition for a game of Truth or Dare, right after the show. |
| Linden: | All right, now that isn't going to be your regular truth or dare, it's going to be REAL truth or dare. |
| Nelson: | And Peter puckers up! According to the rules of our drinking game, it's time for a shot! Make it a good one because it's the end of the simulchat! |
| Zulema: | Okay, one more shot!!! |
| kane: | Linden, what are you future plans... more movies? |
| Linden: | Yes. I've actually just finished a movie called "The Time Of Her Time," based on a Norman Mailer novel. |
| Nelson: | When can we look forward to seeing that? |
| Linden: | Right now, it's doing the film festival circuit. But I'm sure it'll have a limited theatrical release. I just saw it the other night, and I liked it a lot. And for me, to like something that I did is a rare thing. |
| Nelson: | You're too hard on yourself. |
| lolita3: | what has your wife been in? |
| Linden: | A series called "Dear John." And, a miniseries called "Elvis and Me." And a lot of other things. Not to mention "The Big Easy" last year. |
| Nelson: | Well this will be big, but it won't be easy. It's a game of Truth or Dare. Are you up for it, Linden? |
| Linden: | Let 'er rip, Nelson. |
| Nelson: | Truth or Dare: Do you have a criminal record? |
| Linden: | Truth. No, it was erased, it was a deal my parents worked out with the judge. |
| Nelson: | Truth or Dare: Did you pad your tights during ballet class? |
| Linden: | No, I had to actually hide it because it was unsightly. |
| Nelson: | You and Burt Ward. |
| Linden: | LOL |
| Zulema: | Wow!! |
| Nelson: | Truth or Dare: Have you ever mortally wounded an opponent during martial arts practice? |
| Linden: | Dare!!!!! |
| Nelson: | Your dare then, is to perform a pas de deux with Zulema! |
| Zulema: | Yeah!!!! |
| Nelson: | You will find the tights right over there on the hook. |
| Linden: | I told you, I wear no tights! |
| Zulema: | Me neither!!! |
| Linden: | Oh, Zulema! |
| Nelson: | I'm thinking of the audience. Put them on! |
| Linden: | Okay. |
| Nelson: | While Zulema and Linden perform their dance, I'll tell you what's coming up in Nelson's World. |
| Linden: | Zulema, with that flexibility, you could be quite a martial artist, too. |
| Zulema: | I try!!! |
| Nelson: | She could be quite a something, that's for sure. Our guests this week at 6pm Pacific / 9pm Eastern include: Tomorrow we meet the limber Julie Strain, Penthouse Pet turned B-movie queen! |
| Linden: | Oh, Nelson! Can I come tomorrow? |
| Nelson: | You are welcome here anytime! As long as you clean up your language! |
| Linden: | You're such a prick. |
| Nelson: | LOL |
| Zulema: | AHHH!! |
| Nelson: | On Wednesday, meet the new Man Behaving Badly, Ken Marino. On Thursday, we'll be examining Hollywood's most serious addictions with Elizabeth Taylor's nurse, Kathleen Lavinson. |
| Linden: | Of the Milwaukee Lavinsons? |
| Nelson: | You never know! And Friday, we meet Hollywood royalty Carroll Baker, now appearing in "The Game." |
| Linden: | BabyDoll. |
| Nelson: | Yes sweetie? |
| Linden: | No, "Babydoll", right? Honey? |
| Nelson: | Oh yes, the movie, which made Carroll Baker a star. You and Zulema dance so divinely, I'm just going to sit back and watch. |
| Zulema: | You do that Nelson!! |
| Linden: | Does anyone else out there have questions? |
| Nelson: | Last one for Linden Ashby! |
| reilly: | Linden, what would be your dream role? |
| Linden: | Well, a big cinnamon thing with raisins in it. |
| Nelson: | That would be roll. Is playing a bad guy like Coop very satisfying for you, Linden? |
| Linden: | Oh, it's extremely satisfying, Nelson. Yeah, it is, it's a lot of fun. |
| Nelson: | But not as fun as having you as a guest in Nelson's World. |
| Linden: | Not as fun as being a guest in Nelson's World. It's not even "on" Nelson's World, it's "in" Nelson's World. |
| Nelson: | That is correct. And we're going to keep you here until we all sober up, but definitely thank the audience for checking out our show and "Melrose Place." |
| Linden: | Yeah, because, you know, my driver, I'm driving in like the Princess Diana car tonight. Same thing, Mercedes 500 whatever. I got in, and promptly buckled my seat belt. |
| Nelson: | Before you say another word, Linden, that could send the entire Western Civilization crashing down around our ears, we'll say good night, and thanks for coming! |
| Zulema: | Thank you Linden!!! |
| Linden: | Thank you guys! |
| Nelson: | We're just so happy to find out you're naughty AND nice. |
| Linden: | Well, you're like Santa then. |
| Nelson: | We're out of time, or I would dazzle you with my analogies. |
| Linden: | Ho ho ho |
| Nelson: | Good night everybody! XOXOXO |